In Islam, one of the major parts of the life of a person is getting married. Both male and female are encouraged to get married in Islam at the earliest. Moreover, besides the general commendation of marriage, Islam also tells its followers to build such a marital relationship where both the partners live happily and provide a better environment and grooming to their future generation.
The increasing rate of divorce in the Western world is all because of the fact that there is no institute that could provide them with guidelines on how to live in a relationship where both the partners can contribute to happiness of each other, share sorrows and take life forward. In this regard, Muslims are truly blessed, as Allah Almighty has given instructions to Muslims on how they can have a healthy marital relationship and live according to Islamic way of life.
The lines below discuss some tips that can help in leading a healthy marital relationship in an Islamic way.
Take Guidance From Quran:
The first and foremost important thing that can help both the partners in the relationship have a good and successful marital relationship is the guidance from understanding the Holy Quran. Both men and women need to take guidance from Quran pertaining to the roles and duties they have to play in the relationship in order to make it a success. In Quran, Allah Almighty says:
“Men (males) are responsible for women (females) because of what Allah has given one over the other (in strength) and they (males) spend (for females maintenance) from their wealth. So righteous women are obedient (to Allah), guarding in (husband’s) absence what Allah wants them to guard. But for those (wives) from whom you obser5ve arrogance and refusal, admonish them; (if they persist), leave their beds; and (lastly), tap (percus) them. But if they comply, seek no further means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.” (4:34)
In this ayah of Quran, Allah Almighty has clearly mentioned the responsibility of a husband towards a wife and the way a wife needs to perform her role in return. Both male and female should live by respecting their roles. Once they have established their role and know what they ought to do, the conflicts start diminishing and as a result, the relation grows to be healthy and strong.
Care For Each Other:
The second important thing to make the marital relation a success is caring for each other. Usually women are associated with the role of care and taking care of the expenditure made on the family. However, males are also responsible for taking care of the family and one way of doing so is by spending from their income on the well being and happiness of the family members. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said in one of His hadiths:
“The best among you is who is best to his family” (Tirmidhi)
Therefore, regardless of whether it is a man or a women they both ought to be good to their family members whether it is their children, parents, brothers and sisters or the they both towards each other.
Next to care where both husband and wife perform their roles with the element of affection in it, the other thing that can help make the relationship healthy and full of love is complimenting each other. One of the major reasons why the marriages of today fail is the fact that the partners fail to complement each other and appreciate each other for all the good things they have. When the process of complimenting each other stops, the ultimate result is the flaws and ills surfacing which consequently lead to an unhealthy relationship, therefore, both husband and wife should and must complement each other.
Control The Anger:
Islam in general has forbidden anger as it leads to all kinds of hasty decision and haughty discussions. Therefore, in a marital relationship, both husband and wife need to control their anger, as when the anger is control, the ultimate result is they both listening to each other and try to figure things out. On the other hand, when there is anger, it clouds the judgment and in this clouded judgment they pass harsh remarks which leads to haughty discussion that consequently loosens the bond of love between the two, hence, husband and wife both must try practicing control over their anger.
The misconception about Islam is that people think that it is all boring and tedious with no element of fun or enjoyment in it. The fact of the matter is that Islam wants the partners to enjoy a healthy relationship, hence to make life healthy and entertaining, the couple should go out to visit places, play games in the home, try to have fun by having humorous conversations and so on.
Above all the most important thing that is required to keep the relationship healthy and strong is trust. Both husband and wife should trust each other in every regard. This trust should be present in every matter of life, whether it is reaching some decision, protection of property, honor or any kind. When this trust is present between the two, on the basis of it they both can overcome any situation and enjoy a long and healthy relationship.
In a nutshell, if husband and wife realize their duties and refrain from all what Islam instructs a person to refrain from and do what Islam instructs them to do, then there should be no doubt that the relationship will be a healthy one full of love.